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Sensei Gary Simpson
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Zen Garden > How to Attract Good People Into Your Life - Part 1 of 2

Because we strive for relationships and companionship, what sort of people are we trying to attract?


No matter who you are or what you do, one of the essentials of life is to be surrounded by supportive and loving relatives and friends. The only exception to this rule is the relatively few hermits and sociopaths who shun the camaraderie of others.

Could you imagine what life would be like if you were the only living survivor of the human race? Most of us crave companionship of some sort.

Because we strive for relationships and companionship, what sort of people are we trying to attract? In general, we tend to attract like-minded people who share some or many of our common interests and goals. So the key question now becomes how do we attract good people into our lives? Most of us do not wish to associate with evil or predatory people unless, of course, we have an evil or predatory nature ourselves. But I am assuming that this is definitely not the case and I will confine the following to our search for good people. How can we accomplish this?

Here is a hint. Look in the mirror. What do you see? The reflection looking back at you is the first thing that others see and, like it or not, we really do make so many assumptions based on visual inspection.

I could, at this point, start making comments about grooming and deportment but I want to talk about something equally important yet far less obvious. I want to ask you what sort of "vibes" you give off. You see, appearance only goes so far. Yes, it opens the door for us. But what happens when you invite somebody in? What do they find?

We all like to be treated with dignity and respect. But how do you treat others? Are you consistent or are you one of these unpredictable types who will say hello one day then ignore somebody the next? It will be seen as a major flaw in your personality if you do this. People like consistency. To be joyous and friendly one day then ignorant or dismissive the next is a recipe for turning people away from you.

Are you polite? The general trend as the world becomes more frenetic is for people to exhibit increasing rudeness in their interaction with others. The words "please" and "thank you" are becoming the exception rather than the rule. We are tending to be less tolerant and easier to take offence against others. I heard a certain movie star say in an interview a little while ago: "Hey, I'm a New Yorker - I'm allowed to be rude and arrogant." Really? How sad to think this way. What sort of an example is that setting?

The question I am posing is this: "What package are you offering to others?" Do you deliver what you promise? We all have flaws but those who are successful in life are able to overcome those flaws. Personal development is an ongoing project. If you want to attract the very best people into your life then you have to be the very best person in the lives of others. It is a reciprocal arrangement. Doesn't that just make sense? Who wants to befriend a rude and arrogant jerk?

In Part 2 of "How to Attract Good People Into Your Life" I am going to give you a little exercise to do. It is in several parts and will require a small effort from you but I think you will enjoy it because it is rather interesting. Through this exercise you will learn a lot more about how to attract the right kind of people into your life. Stay tuned...

This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.


Gary Simpson is a 7th Dan karate master who teaches self defense, motivation, self help and wealth building to students around the world through home study courses. You may reprint this article as you include this author credit and an active link to his web site.

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